The new M30<\/strong>, affectionately dubbed the “Wiltshire Doughnut,” is designed to be a direct scale-replica of the M25, only compressed to fit the BA13 postcode. Plans indicate that the motorway will be so wide that residents in Westbury Leigh<\/strong> will technically be able to walk to the Railway Station<\/strong> by simply crossing four lanes of traffic and a Hard Shoulder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The M30 will feature a series of high-capacity junctions designed to “optimize the flow of absolutely nothing.” Notable sections include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n To accommodate the M30\u2019s massive footprint, several local adjustments have been proposed at The Laverton<\/strong>. The town\u2019s historic town hall will be jacked up and placed on a giant turntable in the middle of a new roundabout, allowing it to rotate 360 degrees so that every passing lorry driver can see the council\u2019s “Welcome to Westbury” banner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n “It\u2019s about scale,” a spokesperson explained while unrolling a map that was just a giant circle drawn in Sharpie. “The M25 serves London. The M30 will serve Oldfield Road<\/strong>. If a resident wants to go from Lidl<\/strong> to the Conservative Club<\/strong>, they will now have the option of a 14-mile high-speed loop around the town. It\u2019s the ultimate in local convenience.”<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n In a nod to Westbury’s industrial past, the Lafarge cement works<\/strong> site will be repurposed as the “M30 Central Service Station.” It will feature a 24-hour Greggs and a “Heritage Dust Experience” where visitors can pay to have their cars lightly coated in a fine white powder to simulate the 1980s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Furthermore, the Westbury Swimming Pool<\/strong> will be used as a giant emergency runoff tank for the motorway. In the event of a heavy Wiltshire downpour, the pool will transition from a Victorian leisure facility to a high-capacity drainage basin, with swimmers advised to “keep an eye out for rogue hubcaps.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n The M30 is expected to be completed by the time the sentient traffic lights<\/strong> at the A350 junction finally agree to a ceasefire. Until then, residents are encouraged to practice their “merging maneuvers” on a new mini-roundabout near All Saints Church<\/strong>, which will serve as the M30\u2019s temporary “Junction 0.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n As one local resident put it: “I always wanted a bypass, but I didn’t expect the bypass to be wider than the town itself. At least I\u2019ll have a 8-lane view of the horse while I\u2019m stuck in the inevitable orbital tailback.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" In a move that finally puts the “bypass vs. through-road” debate to bed, the Department for Transport has announced that Westbury will become the first town...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":25,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"pagelayer_contact_templates":[],"_pagelayer_content":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-24","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-transport"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/westburynews.co.uk\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/westburynews.co.uk\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/westburynews.co.uk\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/westburynews.co.uk\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/westburynews.co.uk\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=24"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/westburynews.co.uk\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26,"href":"https:\/\/westburynews.co.uk\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24\/revisions\/26"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/westburynews.co.uk\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/25"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/westburynews.co.uk\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=24"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/westburynews.co.uk\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=24"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/westburynews.co.uk\/wp\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=24"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n\n\n\nThe Grand Design<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\n
Local Logistics<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
\n
\n\n\n\nThe Environmental “Pivot”<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
The Final Toll<\/h3>\n\n\n\n